Posting to Otherworlds

[wiseheart]

The heat that very effectively kills my creativity has one positive side effect: as I'm practically unable to do anything that requires active thinking, it leaves me enough time to do the archiving thing.

Hand coding is time-consuming and dull (not to mention it's killing my wrist and fingers - my left hand is a way bit ruined), but it also "forces" me to re-read my stories, bot the sci-fi and the horror fic, the latter of which I've started to post to hiddenrealms.

Immodest as it might sound, I enjoy reading my own work enormously. Because it is good, dammit! I've been subjected to so much nitpicking and/or downright hostile comments (mostly because I don't like the very popular lead characters or because I happen to write teh Ebol SlashTM) that I honestly began to doubt myself. Granted, I got a lot of positive feedback, too, and that on FF.Net, of all places, but usually it's so that I get the amount of feedback for a 20-chapter-story that a wildly popular smut or wangst writer gets for a single, 200-word-chapter. So, it's generally not very encouraging, especially as people who are sometimes telling me that they like my stuff could never be bothered to drop a review.

On this place should be great credit given to the wonderful jilba, who not only reads everything I write in the sci-fi fandoms she's familiar with but also never fails to toss the poor muse a friendly bone.

In any case, I'm having great fun with re-reading my stories. I enjoy the way how I've built the backgrounds and filled out the gaping holes left by canon and even created brand new species and customs from the scratch as I went along. I realize that for anyone to recognize these subtle touches, one has to be, well, if not exactly the same grade of nerd as I am, but to have at least a slight interest in the background facts of the fandom in question. Alas, most people simply don't have it. It's been my experience that the female readers are mostly interested in the angst and the smut, and the male readers in the technobabble and the battles.

Well, I offer all the above, but not as the main course. Primarily, I'm interested in the world-building part and the interpersonal relationships, and I'm pretty decent at it. Unfortunately, that requires a lot of patience and a sort of detective mind from a reader, and not many readers have that. And those who might be, are usually shocked by the fact that my characters occasionally do have sex. It seems that an author either is allowed to write smut, but in that case the story must *not* have a plot, or action, but in that case the story must *not* have sex. As if those things could be separated in real life, too.

The funniest part is when so-called serious readers point out my supposed canon errors. If they had ever made the effort to do a tenth of research I do for each frigging story, they would know that I don't make canon errors. And when I change something, I always leave a note about it. Even in my crossovers and AUs, I go great lengths to stay as close as canon as possibly. IMO, that gives me the right to bend or break canon where it is utterly stupid. Screenwriters usually aren't half as devoted to a particular fandom than the fans themselves are, and I *am* a fan of these series, or I wouldn't write fanfic.

So, what I wanted to say with all this meandering crap is that once again, I realized that I'm good. And even if nobody would ever use the review function of LJ to comment on my stories on otherworlds, my stuff would still be excellent. Way better than a lot of what many celebrity writers produce, even though they are all native speakers. Because I write better. Even though my stuff might contain some weird grammar, as my betas tend to drop me like a hot potato after the first two chapters or so, which is the reason why I can't do anything else but post the stories un-betaed. I'd prefer not to, but I don't have a choice in this.

Well, all the above sounds a bit self-absorbed, and I might end up on fandom_wank for it again, but I don't really care. I know what I'm worth and what my work is worth and I won't let anyone make me question that worth ever again.


Yesterday, I've moved Luthienn's "Flarn Manages" - well, the existing chapters anyway. I like the Galen/Lennier stuff, especially as I now she hasn't originally intended to go there - it simply grew from the existing storyline. Today, I'll move "Moments of Joy", my Zelenka fic, and perhaps "The Equinox Logs" - we'll see how well my left hand cooperates. That would leave two more existing pieces of Atlantis fanfic, the first three parts of "The Joy Machine", and the 20 chapters of "Alternate Caretaker". I'd say, I still have an awful lot of work before me. Perhaps I'll finish ere school starts again and can switch to posting the horror stuff to hiddenrealms.

Comments

[makamu]

Yes, that's exactly why I like your stories so much :) And as for betas: the grammar errors are not really that difficult to resolve, at least for me, because they have a "German pattern" to them, that is to say, you mostly do stuff that would be correct in my native language, but isn't in English, so I can figure out what you meant to say often enough :)

And I have not dropped my beta duties. It's just that my muses are slightly more active than they used to be and I have to use the time as best as I can :)

Should you wish to have a more reliable beta for "Prisoner" I would understand completely, though :) *hugs*

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

I meant my sci-fi betas, little sis. :))
I was talking about sci-fi fandoms, sorry if it wasn't clear from the beginning.

In fact, I'm happy that you're writing again. I hope that you'll be able to post something to "Gildor's Library", too, after all, you used to write FP stories as well, didn't you?

Oh, yes, the Germanisms in my English! *g*
I've been living with German since the age of 3, whenever I turn to another foreign language, German practically eats my grammar. ;))

[lhun-dweller.livejournal.com]

Yes, you are good. DAMNED good!

And I am so glad to see you stand up and say so without apologies or review counts or any other modifying statements. You are *unconditionally* a damned good writer.

You *should* be proud the complex backstories, the new characters and cultures, the relationships you've created. I haven't read much of your sci-fi, as I don't know the fandoms, but what I have read in the Trek and Tolkien realms is good. Very good. And it is interesting and engaging precisely because of the effort you put into developing the background for your stories. Your hard work shows, and I am delighted to hear you telling the naysayers where they can go with their nitpicks

As to grammar/non-native usage, feh! You do just fine, IMHO - and I've done beta work for you, so you know how fussy I can be when you ask it of me. Frankly, I'm seeing mistakes in the Boston Globe (a major US newspaper whose editorial staff was cut when the New York Times bought it... and the effects show) that you wouldn't make.

So, now you've put the self-doubt aside, never pick it up again. Because you are a damned good writer. Period.

And we're damned lucky the Net came along so we could all get a peek into your desk drawer.

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Although slightly higher review counts would rise my self-confidence a great deal. *g*

And yes, I *am* proud of my complex backstories. Too bad that so few people can get the subtle hints. *sighs*