Progress report: Atonement 4 (Torchwood) finished

[wiseheart]

I've finished the capricious Chapter 4. *is relieved* AS I mentioned the last time, it didn't quite turn out as I expected, but I'm content enough with it. The whole thing is becoming slightly uneven after Chapter 2, switching to and fro between the different characters, but since I'm dealing with such a large cast, it's inveitable, I think.

I'd like to make it smoother, but it just doesn't work any better. I could lie to myself and say that I can still return to the story later and iron out the details I'm not satisfied with, but we all know that I won't, so it's a moot point. I've simply got too much stuff I still need (and want) to write to tinker around with old stories, even if it would make them better.

Excerpt:

(this time with a little fluff on the side)

“You need a long, hot shower and your bed,” Jack said. “Actually, a bath would be even better.”

“I don’t think I can manage,” Ianto replied, without opening his eyes.

Jack snorted. “Nonsense. I’ll carry you to the bathtub if I have to, but you’re not going to bed with all those knotted muscles. Your leg must be a mess by now.”

“You just want to see me naked,” Ianto still refused to open his eyes.

“That, too,” Jack admitted unrepentantly, “but tonight only for medical purposes. Wait here. I’ll start running that bath; then I’ll come back and help you.”

*********************
Now on to Chapter 5. Which might take some time, as I don't have any sound concept about what should be happening there. Other than they'll have to go to Torchwood House. Eventually.

Comments

[solanpolarn.livejournal.com]

I like your Jack and Ianto; they also ring very true to what I felt was their potential in the series. I have to admit I have given up on Torchwood, always finding it rather disappointing and condescending -- how could they possibly think I would be able to identify with that self-important moron Gwen? Ianto was always intriguing and definitely someone I felt more akin to; he wasn't given nearly enough to do though!

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

I hate Gwen-bloody-Cooper with the passion of a thousand burning sons! I'm a proud member of antigwenallies and even rewrote the first 9 episodes of Series 1, so that the moron died in every single one from the logical consequences of her own stupidity. It was very cathartic, and my fellow antigwennites had their field day with each update.

Jack and Ianto had incredible chemistry, just like Brian and Michael in the US version of Queer as Folk. For some reason, TPTB tried to shove down our throats a pairing that simply didn't work, in both series.

[solanpolarn.livejournal.com]

It is funny how out of the three different Doctor Who universe series I have seen, Gwen in the 'adult' Torchwood is the most childish! (Funny, in a 'strange' way, not ha-ha.) Sarah Jane is definitely much more my type of female, and the kids are far more sensible and less self-centred and stupid than Gwen!

I did like the Ianto and half-Cyberwoman; it seemed a very Ianto-thing to do to be loyal to someone long after they were actually still them. Gwen/Jack just never made sense! Especially since she already had what's-his-name the bumbling boyfriend. Not sure why we were expected to like the idea of Gwen cheating on him. Okay he wasn't the brightest of people and not as exciting and exotic as Jack, but that is no excuse for (almost) having an affair with someone else while still stringing him along.

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

She did cheat on Rhys, actually - just not with Jack. She had an affair with Owen; then confessed it to Rhys, and then Retconned Rhys, so that she wouldn't lose her safety net. The poor sod even married her, and in front of the registrar, she was still making cow eyes at Jack!

I definitely agree with you about Sarah Jane; although I must add that IMO Rose was every bit as bad as Gwen. Only that she had the excuse of being an uneducated teenager.