Soledad's Journal

Okay, I understand that people are not motivated to give positive reviews. But what would motivate someone to leave a review to a really old story (Crossroads, if you are interested, the introduction story to "Lost Years", my classic!BSG/classic!Trek series)?

( Dirt behind the tag because I don't want to soil my front page )

It was a "brave" anonymous reviewer, so I could at least remove their shit before it would appear on the review board - I've learned my lesson and am now moderating anonymous reviews. But I really don't understand. "Crossroads" is a fairly moderate story, save for some mild Kirk-bashing. Okay, I understand that there are Kirk-fans who don't like their idol being bashed, not even mildly. I just do't understand why do I seem to draw every jerk with attitude problems. What have I done to deserve this abuse?

In case you are interested in the actual story, it is here. I'd be the first to admit that it isn't one of my best pieces - not only is it old, but it's translated from German/Hungarian and it shows, but there's certainly nothing in it that would deserve such rudeness.

Meaning those of very little feedback, I mean. There are such things, you know. Back in the earlier days, when my stuff seemed to attract other readers than a very small handful of loyal readers (you know who you are and I still love you to pieces), I was concerned about negative feedback all the time.

And with good reason. A lot of nitpickers (with way less knowledge about the fandom in question but with great confidence about knowing everything better) or simply mean-spirited idiots seemed to spot my stuff. And, unlike people who might actually like my stories, these people saw it as their holy quest to tell me that my plot/pairing/characterization/background knowledge/grammar was shit. Even if it was not.

I was crushed, a lot of time. Especially when I saw mediocre crap getting nothing but glowing praise. Or when popular writers (even good ones) fell into a routine, writing the same thing all over again, just because it proved successful, and despite their stories now being boring like hell, their following still kept worshipping at their feet. I admit that I was jealous. Sometimes I still am.

But again, since I mostly write the kind of stuff I would like to read and that I rarely find anywhere else, I realised that being ignored is actually not such a bad thing. It allows me to enjoy my own writing without being worried what others will say to it. Of course, supportive reviews are still a gift of God, which is why I like picowrimo so much. But basically, when I have to meet my own standards, most of the time, I think it allows me to write better. Or what I consider better writing. It usually doesn't match with the things that are widely popular. But that is all right. Most of the time anyway.

Yes, it is cold comfort, but it is still better than trying to write things the wide public likes to read and being unhappy with the results.

Heh. Still here. Still dead, more or less. But I've decided to post Trial Without Error to FF.Net.

Yeah, I'm suicidal, I know. Even though I've posted it to the Miscellaneous TV-shows category and put up a serious warning in the A/Ns, I expect to be flamed into the next incarnation by the "Sheppard can't do no wrong" people. Including being called a meanie and other names. But I got too stubborn to care. I like that story, I think it's a good story - at least better than 95 per cent of the crap that floads all over the fandom, so I wanted people to read it. If I find one reader who likes it, it was worth all the hate I'll get for it.

Yeah, yeah, I know I'll be whining right and left as soon as the first attack starts. I can't help. It always depresses me when I produce something that I personally find good, something I've worked hard to create, and then it gets put down, just because I'm "mean" to a popular character. So, I decided to organize a virtual barbecue to put the flames that will doubtlessly come to good use. Bring your bacon, your sausages, your marshmellows or whatever people bring to barbecues. I'll bring the beer.

Additionally, I've reached the letter G in my Rohan data table, over in Gildor's Library. If you're interested/have something to add/correct/nitpick, you're welcome to take a look. :))

... autumn holidays! Yay! A whole week without schools stress, and - if I manage to get better until Thursday - even a one-day-trip to Vienna!

In honour of this wonderful fact, I've uploaded Isabeau's birthday present, in case chello won't let me access the Net in the next Age, due to their usual, three-hour-long system upgrade. Here:

https://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1565350

It's titled "Cold Comfort" (Edhellond people know it already), it's a one-shot (yes, I actually managed to write something short for a change, go figure), and - thank to Una - it isn't even grammatically insulting for native speakers.

Denethor shares a frightening discovery with an old friend.

My Star Trek beta checked back yesterday and asked for a new Alternate Voyager chapter, so I sent her the DS9 part, where Paris rescues Kim from the clutches of Quark. My regular flamer will certainly be back as soon as I post it and chastise me for using the original dialogue in my own story. I could delete her stupid comments, as she is anonymous, of course, but the other readers get so nicely agitated about them that I decided to leave the written proof of her (his?) stupidity for the following generations.

Still feeling like shit. *sighs* But I'll try to finish "Face of the Enemy" for Nerwen's birthday in the autumn holidays and finally write that highly dramatic (or so I hope) part from the next AU chapter where Gildor very nearly kills Aragorn in his righteous outrage. *rubs hand gleefully*

Time to go and stuff some more tea and aspirin into my head now.