ROTK impressions
Jan. 18th, 2004 06:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wiseheartAllrighty, finally saw the movie today. My thoughts on it are behind the tag. Movie-fans, beware: there will be movie bashing, so read at your own risk.
First let see the things I liked. There aren't too many, but there are some:
- Sméagol's story at the beginning.
- Gollum in general.
- SAM. And I mean SAM! 'Nuff said. :))
- The sets. They were gorgeous as always. Especially Minas Tirith (so very book-verse) and the great hall of the Dead Men in the mountain. Still not very fond of decadent Rivendell, though. Mithlond was a little different from what I envisioned of an Elf-haven, but it was okay.
- Merry as a Rider of Rohan. He was cute.
- Grond, and the rhynoceros-like beasts that pulled it.
- The Orcs quarreling with each other in the tower of Cirith Ungol. Again, very much book-verse.
- The Dead Men. Yeah, they were a little green-ish, but still not as much as Galadriel in her creepy scene in FOTR. And otherwise, they were cool.
- The Witch-king. He looked cool, too.
- The farewell scene. Even if it was a little... "schleppend", as the Germans would say. Sorry, don't know the proper English word.
And now here cometh the bashing:
- Elrond. As always. And the whole idiotic subplot with Arwen dying. And Arwen in general.
- The stupid fact that the Elves who were on their way to Mithlond let Arwen ride back alone all the long and not very safe way. But perhaps they wanted to get rid of her? And why in seven hells were they travelling through the wild in white nightshirts?
- Elrond reaching Rohan in record time. Has he travelled with the Eagle Airlines?
- Denethor. And I mean DENETHOR here. My homicidal insticts about how the poor Steward was handled here are at top speed. I'm fuming. At least they left the book dialogues, although I could have feel for Faramir more had he been differently cast. But that's a matter of taste, I guess.
- Gandalf. Running around like a high school bully and hitting all people with his staff. I think I've come to hate Gandalf. I'll kill him in both of my AU stories to calm down a little.
- The pathetic speeches both Théoden and Aragorn wielded before all battles. The overall destructive mood in all leaders. Accepting defeat before even the battle was fought. Bleh.
- The Rohirrim - one of the best-organized cavalries in Middle-earth if not the best-organized one - leaving Edoras like a bunch of headless chickens. Apparently, only Sauron's armies knew discipline and proper battle formations. Even thoguh one of the Orc leaders had tumors on half of his face, for some strange reason.
- Sauron as an overgrown piece of neon advertisement on top of Barad-dúr. Looked even more stupid than in TTT.
- Shelob. I think PJ went into the other extreme with that spider. While the Wargs, sadly, didn't even remind me of wolves, Shelob was too much of your average Hollywood monster movie mutated giant spider. I couldn't fear her for a moment. In fact, I laughed hysterically, remembering how William Shatner has been chased by giant, radioactive mutant spiders in one of those trash movies.
- Did I mention Denethor?
- The oliphaunts. They were too uber-dimensional to be taken seriously. I mean, a huge elephant of the size of a woolly mammooth would have been frightening. The overgrown beast that could trample a horse with a single step was simply ridiculous.
- The fact that Minas Tirith's walls were obviously made of pappmaché. They broke way too easily.
- Merry being completely unharmed from stabbign the Witch-king. What was he doing at the Black Gate, anyway? And why did he know all the way who Éowyn was?
- The stupid drinking scene in Edoras.
- The dying scene of the Witch-king. Did Éowyn hit him with a sword or with an electro-shocker?
- And did I mention Denethor?
- Frodo being on drugs again, all over the movie. And him treating poor Sam like shit.
- Whiny Aragorn.
- No Rangers of the North.
- No Saruman.
- No Houses of Healing.
- Frodo not getting to carry the crown to Gandalf and Aragorn at the crowning.
- Gimli obviously being at least 200 years old.
- Legolas and his ridiculous stunts.
- Did I mention Gandalf, the General, taking over Minas Tirith? And having phylosophical conversations while the enemy is about to break the Gates of the City? Sheesh!
- I believe I have mentioned Denethor already, have I?
I still liked it better than TTT. But, of course, that ungodly exorcism in Meduseld and the Wargs could not be topped anyway. Or Aragorn having smoochies with his horse...
But I won't go to watch it in the cinema again. Not worth my hard-earned money. I'll buy the EE on video, when it comes out, so I can fast forward the scenes I don't like.
First let see the things I liked. There aren't too many, but there are some:
- Sméagol's story at the beginning.
- Gollum in general.
- SAM. And I mean SAM! 'Nuff said. :))
- The sets. They were gorgeous as always. Especially Minas Tirith (so very book-verse) and the great hall of the Dead Men in the mountain. Still not very fond of decadent Rivendell, though. Mithlond was a little different from what I envisioned of an Elf-haven, but it was okay.
- Merry as a Rider of Rohan. He was cute.
- Grond, and the rhynoceros-like beasts that pulled it.
- The Orcs quarreling with each other in the tower of Cirith Ungol. Again, very much book-verse.
- The Dead Men. Yeah, they were a little green-ish, but still not as much as Galadriel in her creepy scene in FOTR. And otherwise, they were cool.
- The Witch-king. He looked cool, too.
- The farewell scene. Even if it was a little... "schleppend", as the Germans would say. Sorry, don't know the proper English word.
And now here cometh the bashing:
- Elrond. As always. And the whole idiotic subplot with Arwen dying. And Arwen in general.
- The stupid fact that the Elves who were on their way to Mithlond let Arwen ride back alone all the long and not very safe way. But perhaps they wanted to get rid of her? And why in seven hells were they travelling through the wild in white nightshirts?
- Elrond reaching Rohan in record time. Has he travelled with the Eagle Airlines?
- Denethor. And I mean DENETHOR here. My homicidal insticts about how the poor Steward was handled here are at top speed. I'm fuming. At least they left the book dialogues, although I could have feel for Faramir more had he been differently cast. But that's a matter of taste, I guess.
- Gandalf. Running around like a high school bully and hitting all people with his staff. I think I've come to hate Gandalf. I'll kill him in both of my AU stories to calm down a little.
- The pathetic speeches both Théoden and Aragorn wielded before all battles. The overall destructive mood in all leaders. Accepting defeat before even the battle was fought. Bleh.
- The Rohirrim - one of the best-organized cavalries in Middle-earth if not the best-organized one - leaving Edoras like a bunch of headless chickens. Apparently, only Sauron's armies knew discipline and proper battle formations. Even thoguh one of the Orc leaders had tumors on half of his face, for some strange reason.
- Sauron as an overgrown piece of neon advertisement on top of Barad-dúr. Looked even more stupid than in TTT.
- Shelob. I think PJ went into the other extreme with that spider. While the Wargs, sadly, didn't even remind me of wolves, Shelob was too much of your average Hollywood monster movie mutated giant spider. I couldn't fear her for a moment. In fact, I laughed hysterically, remembering how William Shatner has been chased by giant, radioactive mutant spiders in one of those trash movies.
- Did I mention Denethor?
- The oliphaunts. They were too uber-dimensional to be taken seriously. I mean, a huge elephant of the size of a woolly mammooth would have been frightening. The overgrown beast that could trample a horse with a single step was simply ridiculous.
- The fact that Minas Tirith's walls were obviously made of pappmaché. They broke way too easily.
- Merry being completely unharmed from stabbign the Witch-king. What was he doing at the Black Gate, anyway? And why did he know all the way who Éowyn was?
- The stupid drinking scene in Edoras.
- The dying scene of the Witch-king. Did Éowyn hit him with a sword or with an electro-shocker?
- And did I mention Denethor?
- Frodo being on drugs again, all over the movie. And him treating poor Sam like shit.
- Whiny Aragorn.
- No Rangers of the North.
- No Saruman.
- No Houses of Healing.
- Frodo not getting to carry the crown to Gandalf and Aragorn at the crowning.
- Gimli obviously being at least 200 years old.
- Legolas and his ridiculous stunts.
- Did I mention Gandalf, the General, taking over Minas Tirith? And having phylosophical conversations while the enemy is about to break the Gates of the City? Sheesh!
- I believe I have mentioned Denethor already, have I?
I still liked it better than TTT. But, of course, that ungodly exorcism in Meduseld and the Wargs could not be topped anyway. Or Aragorn having smoochies with his horse...
But I won't go to watch it in the cinema again. Not worth my hard-earned money. I'll buy the EE on video, when it comes out, so I can fast forward the scenes I don't like.
RotK
Date: 2004-01-18 10:25 am (UTC)Stella