wiseheart: (Tosh_flowers)
[personal profile] wiseheart
I've started Chapter 6 of "Atonement", with a closer look at this alternate version of Jeannie McKay. Some part of it are very depressing, but I'm still quite content how it turned out. I'm just not sure about the grammar. In fact, I'm never really sure when I absolutely have to use Past Perfect and when can I get away with using Simple Past. It's so much more confusing in English than it's in German. It's the easiest in Hungarian, of course, since we only have one past tense in our language, but that's another matter entirely.

So, if anyone would be willing to take a look at these 2.5 pages and tell me if I could leave it as it is - which would be my preference, as it rings true for my ears, but I can't be sure, of course - I'd be eternally grateful.

Anyway, excerpt:

The depressions were still there like a constant, dull ache, they never really left and flared up unexpectedly at the slightest, most ridiculous stimuli. By the changing layout of a familiar website, for example, that made her feel like a complete failure again, until she figured out how to use the re-organized features… and lasted long afterwards.

***********************
Aside from "Atonement", I was suddenly attacked by a particularly vicious plotbunny about an alternate universe in which Sherlock - or a rather alternate version of him - is actually the 13th Doctor. Don't ask, I've got no clue where that came from. The title is supposed to be "Ginger At Last! (But Still Rude). I think it's funny. And I've got even more fun with figuring out how certain other Sherlock characters would fit in the Whoniverse.

Fortunately, I've established a notebook titled "Plotbunny Nest", where I write down the basic ideas for future use. That way, I avoid being sidetracked while working on something else. I've promised myself not to start any new story before one of the WIPs are finished.

In this particular case that not only means "Atonement" and the Elfhelm story, but Book One of "Arthur's Quest" as well, since the latter two are the stories I actually know how they'll end. Eventually. If I ever get far enough with them.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-08-17 03:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] espresso-addict.livejournal.com
Usually you can get away with using simple past after one or two establishing pluperfects. You might need to keep re-establishing every paragraph, depending how clear the timeframe is. I don't think there's a particular rule.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-08-17 04:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wiseheart.livejournal.com
Thanks. Guh, it's so insanely confusing! And I haven't even started talking about prepositions yet...

(no subject)

Date: 2012-08-17 05:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] espresso-addict.livejournal.com
I think English grammar is more slippery than most...

(no subject)

Date: 2012-08-18 09:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wiseheart.livejournal.com
The blatant absence of anything even vaguely resembling of logic might be one of the reasons. But again, few living languages are truly logical.
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