Living in a vacuum

[wiseheart]

That's how I feel, most of the time. Oh, sure, if I stand on the metaphorical tabletop and scream of the top of my lungs, people react. Seldom in a positive way, but at least they react. But I'm so frigging tired of having to provoke a rection all the time.l,

I'm so frigging tired of always having the one to make the efforts to keep personal connections working. To be always there for everyone, always helpful, always supportive, always understanding - and hardly ever getting the same, unless I beg and grovel. I'm sick and tired of begging and grovelling.

I'm fed up with doing all the boring background work, so that other people could shine. With being polite and considerate and tying not to burden others, without reciprocation. With always being on the receiving end when someone has to swallow the bitter pill, so that others can go on with their lives.

And I'm definitely, positively fed up with my work being ignored and overlooked while mediocre shit is being praised to high heavens.


To those who are the exception in my life - you know who you are - thank you. You keep me going on.