Child status for eternity

[wiseheart]

You know that I love Mum, and those who've met her also know that she's a jewel. But that doesn't change the fact that as long as you lives with your parents, you never get to organize your life as you would like.

It happened that for tomorrow, I got the chance to skip some lessons (a colleague owes me almost a month's worth of unpaid lessons back from September), so I can go to work two hours later than I originally should have. I was really glad, because it would have meant that I could catch up with some writing - assuming I found the strength to get up early.

I called Mum on my way home and told her the good news. She promptly said: "Oh, good, then we can leave home really early, go to this funeral company and got the grandparents moved. (We've bought the new resting place last week.)

Now, I know it needs to be done. In fact, we've been planning to do it on Thursday, when I start work late anyway. It doesn't really matter which day we do it - I can catch up with my writing or whatever on Thurdsay, too. But I'd have liked to be at least asked fist if I had any other plans for this unexpected free morning. Because, well, you see, I actually had. None that coulnd't be swapped for another day, but still.

So, to summarize it: as long as you live with the parents, you're a child. And as long as you're a child, you can't expect any courtesy where your own spare time is concerned.

Comments

[lindahoyland.livejournal.com]

i know the feeling, my Mum was great and would ask, but my father treated me as if I were about 12 until he died.

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Oh, she isn't that bad, really. I just wanted this unexpected free morning so much for myself - and then, when we're standing on the street, ready to go, mum says innocently: "You know, actually I could have dealt with this alone..."

Rarely was I so close to screaming like a madwoman as in that moment. *g*

[lhun-dweller.livejournal.com]

WAHHHHHH!!!!

(Am I totally evil to be thinking: "They've been there that long. Surely they could wait a few more days"?)

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Well, one side of the truth is that the sooner we make our move, the faster the wheels of bureaucracy will grind. As it is, the remains will be unearthed in about two weeks' time, creamated, and brought to the new resting place around the end of the month. It's actually overdue; I've been fighting Mum for this solution for years.

It's just so that it would be nice to be asked from time to time whether I'd like to dispose over my own spare time - little as it is anyway.

[yeesalu.livejournal.com]

Amen, sister!

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Hehe! Welcome to my place of hapless fury. ;)

[skyfiery.livejournal.com]

My parents have kept saying that to me, too - that I'll always be a child in their eyes.

It's quite annoying, to be sure.

*offers hugs*

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Thanks. *hugs back* I love her, and most of the time I don't mind giving in, but at my age it *is* frustrating sometimes.

[cirdan-havens.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Oh yeah, I know quite a bit about that one. -_- No matter how old you get, your mom still thinks you're a kid.

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

I know. Grandma did the same to Mum all her life - and as much as I loved Grandma, she was a force of nature...

[ooxc.livejournal.com]

having met you and your mother, I think that you are both rather special - but I'm not unaware how difficult it must sometimes be.

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, yeah. We get along well enough where the big, important things are concerned, but as they say, the devil is in the details. ;)

[third-charm.livejournal.com]

Hah! And I thought I was the only one! It's not just for the folks living with their parents, it's for everyone else too, hon. You never grow up in their eyes.

And I'll go one better! You already know that I don't live with my parents, that the husband and I have our own home - and that I live almost two hours drive AWAY from my parents, but do you think that stops my mother from trying to order my life for me? That would be a HUGE American HEEELLL NOO! The woman calls like clockwork to tell me all the things that I need to do - IN MY OWN HOME! I've gotten to the point of just letting her roll over to voice mail and then calling back.... whenever.

Yeah, I know it's mean, but good God, I'm nearly 40, married, have my own home, survived cancer three times and worked all over the world and US when I was healthy enough for it; you would think I would know how to take of my home and marriage by now, wouldn't you? Well, apparently, my own mother doesn't. But, hey she's my mom and I'll only have with me for a finite amount of time, so it's not worth arguing about.

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

In the end that is what really counts, is it: to keep them with us, in reasonably good health, as long as possible.

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

You've just described why I now limit vacation with my parents to a maximum of one week in length. I love them dearly, but that's about as long as I can stand being 14 again!