Mum update #3 and the general suckage of nonexistent bedside manners

[wiseheart]

Okay, I'm officially pissed now.

Mum's had two not-so-good days in a row. She felt weakened, which was partially because of lying all day, partially because she's had slightly hightened temperature both evenings.

I happened to be there yesterday when they checked her temperature. I read 0.5 degrees more than the duty nurse. Interestingly enough, she had exactly the same temperature today that I read yesterday. Today's duty nurse (a different one) gave her something against fever at once. Now I'm seriously wondering whether the one yesterday just didn't want to bother.

Also, they told Mum today, at 11, that the doctor wanted to speak me. Didn't bother to tell her why. I got in at half past two or so. Poor Mum suffered severe anxiety till then. I hunted down the doctor - just to learn that they can't tell me anything new. That there might or might not be a tumor that caused the blockage, but they'll oly know when the test results come back - which they haven't, so far. But I shouldn't be worried, because even if there is a tumor, they've got so great experts, they'll treat her for it.

What angers me even more: why couldn't they tell this piece of non-information Mum herself? Yes, she's old, but she's not an idiot, as those of you who've met her can tell. Instead, they let her get more and more nervous every five minutes, until I arrived, and now she's asking herself if I've really told you everything I'd learned.

Well, except the part of the great experts, I did. I found that piece a bit too callous, really.

Comments

[amongst-elves.livejournal.com]

It does seem rather odd that they chose not to give your mother the information. Of course she worried! We all would, if we heard something like that. :-(

Let's hope they'll actually HAVE some news for the both of you soon.

*hugs*

[amongst-elves.livejournal.com]

Ooops - I used the wrong LJ! Well, it's me, Lissa.

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

They apparently operate under the less-than-flattering impression that *all* patients are idiots. Especially the older ones. I might hit someone next time.

And yeah, I realized it was you, Lissa. *hugs*
I'll go over and read your new stuff as soon as I'll be able to focus on anything *not*
Mum-related, I swear!

[disthrainsdotte.livejournal.com]

I agree with you. Your mum is NOT an idiot, and it would be good for them to realise that. ((Mum)) Give her my regards and tell her that I hope she is better soon. Good bedside manners seem to be lacking where Mum is. *glares in their general direction.*

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Dís. She'll be glad to hear from you; she likes you a lot.

[disthrainsdotte.livejournal.com]

I like her as well. As my mum worked as an assistant nurse, I know that good bedside manners are important. Not telling the patient what is the matter is a surefire way to make healing take longer.

[missyvortexdv.livejournal.com]

That is very odd, you'd think the patient would be the first to know anything! My best wishes to you both. I really hope your mum is feeling better soon.

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It's good to hear from you again, by the way. How are you doing?

[missyvortexdv.livejournal.com]

I'm good. I've not been very online somehow with gardening having taken over a little the last few months, not as much as I used to in general, haven't read my friends journal as much as I should either. ;)

I seem to have a steady enough job currently, my health isn't too bad and though my muses have temporarily packed up I'm actually running a ficathon right now, so pretty much good. :)

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Really? What kind of ficathon?

[missyvortexdv.livejournal.com]

bb_and_ww - Bad Boys & Wicked Women - which is for disliked, morally ambigious, villainous, alien and monstrous characters. It's not an exchange ficathon but instead prompts freely submitted and people come claim what they want to write, which I hope will work better as exchanges have such high drop out rates.

[the-wild-iris.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry your mum's had a rough two days - I hope tomorrow is a better day for her.

And that is odd that they wouldn't talk to her directly. *Sigh* Medical staff can sometimes be patronising to older women.

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Over here, they're generally patronizing to everyone. Apparently, when you have to lie in hospital, you automatically become an idiot. But older women have it worst.

[mistry89.livejournal.com]

Oh dear - it could just be a bit of mis-communication on both sides, so that they felt that they had talked to your mother and wanted to tell you as well and she thought that they were going to tell you something important and new and it all sort of got jumbled ... perhaps? I know that when I sat with my (now ex)MIL as she was told about her daughter's diagnosis, she was so busy trying to listen and brace herself , that the actual content of the words she heard did not sink in .. at all. I've seen it happen more than once in doctor/patient and doctor/relative situations (and sometimes I've been the one not grasping or truly hearing what was said *g*).
(I mean about the doctor chat - today's nurse was clearly more on the ball than yesterday's one). On the other hand, they may have appalling bedside manners .. :)

I hope her temperature is back down by now and that a swift (and easily sorted) diagnosis/solution is discovered.
Good Thoughts and Healing Wishes continue.
*hugs*

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I hope I'll find her in a better shape today, and that the results come back all negative, but, well, we never know, do we? *sighs*

And I apparently can't spell. Drat.

[mistry89.livejournal.com]

Heh! I fall into the "Can spell, can't type" category, myself. *g*

[artemis10002000]

*shakes head* Some doctors really have a horrible bedside manner.

I hope your Mum is having a better day today!

[rcfinch.livejournal.com]

Hopefully you were able to make clear to them your mum is not senile and can think and speak for herself.

As for nurses: I could tell you some stories from the time my mother was in hospital. Unfortunately they're not uplifting, so I won't.

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Actually, it's the doctors who are really annoying. The nurses are a tad better. But it's a horrible thing that when you go to hospital, you stop being a person and become someone's object of work. :(

[lhun-dweller.livejournal.com]

Grrr... making your mum fret like that. There's no excuse!

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Exactly. It's a lot worse than knowing.

[jilba.livejournal.com]

As soon as they tell you not to worry, you do. And you're right, Mum is far from an idiot. Am thinking of you, and worrying for you...lots of love to you both.

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Thanks, my dear. It's so good to see you here again!