Beowulf 2007
Mar. 22nd, 2008 07:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wiseheartI've bought the DVD in Vienna, and I'll have to give the movie one thing: it's different. But it's about the only positive thing I can say about it.
If you liked the movie, please don't look behind the tag. I'll be saying evil things about it.
There are reviews on IMDB that discuss a lot more expertly what I disliked in the move so violently, but I'll add a few points of my own.
1) There was some spectacularly horrid acting. I've never seen Ray Winstone in anything before, but after this, I'll give a wide breadth everything in which he might even have as much as a cameo.
2) I didn't know that the whole movie was shot in CGI instead of live action and was shocked by the unnatural movements all along it. Then I went to IMDB and found out what the reason was. It didn't make the whole thing any better.
3) I haven't seen so many dumb-faced woman in a movie at the same time before. While all men acted like Neanderthals, the women seemed so refined as the ladies-in-waiting of Marie Antoinette, lisping and whispering and making go-go eyes at every piece of male flesh - of which the title hero showed a great deal... only that it wasn't real, so what was the point anyway?
4) Incredibly stupid plot twists. 'Nuff said.
5) Angelina Jolie as Grendel's mother. She had a dragon's tail. Only, I could never find out where the tail was attached to the rest of her. It seemed to act independently on its own, all the time. Plus she had big boobs. Perhaps to balance out the weight of aforementioned tail? I don't kow.
6) The dragon looked very stupid. The only cool part was the patch where we could see the fire in its throat through its skin... scales... whatever. For particularly stupid viewers, that patch was shown half a dozen times, so that even the most idiotic of them would understand where the beast needed to be stabbed.
7) Character assassination. King Hrotgar arriving in diapers. Need I to say more?
8) Twisting the original legend. All right, everyone gets the right to their own interpretation, but then, please, follow the good old fanfiction practice and put a big, honking AU label on the whole thing.
Fazit: If you want to see a really good, engaging, heart-rending Viking story, watch "The Thirteenth Warrior". Hell, even the twisted interpretation starring Christopher Lambert was five hundred per cent better than this misbegotten videogame. It certainly wasn't worth the money I've paid for it.
If you liked the movie, please don't look behind the tag. I'll be saying evil things about it.
There are reviews on IMDB that discuss a lot more expertly what I disliked in the move so violently, but I'll add a few points of my own.
1) There was some spectacularly horrid acting. I've never seen Ray Winstone in anything before, but after this, I'll give a wide breadth everything in which he might even have as much as a cameo.
2) I didn't know that the whole movie was shot in CGI instead of live action and was shocked by the unnatural movements all along it. Then I went to IMDB and found out what the reason was. It didn't make the whole thing any better.
3) I haven't seen so many dumb-faced woman in a movie at the same time before. While all men acted like Neanderthals, the women seemed so refined as the ladies-in-waiting of Marie Antoinette, lisping and whispering and making go-go eyes at every piece of male flesh - of which the title hero showed a great deal... only that it wasn't real, so what was the point anyway?
4) Incredibly stupid plot twists. 'Nuff said.
5) Angelina Jolie as Grendel's mother. She had a dragon's tail. Only, I could never find out where the tail was attached to the rest of her. It seemed to act independently on its own, all the time. Plus she had big boobs. Perhaps to balance out the weight of aforementioned tail? I don't kow.
6) The dragon looked very stupid. The only cool part was the patch where we could see the fire in its throat through its skin... scales... whatever. For particularly stupid viewers, that patch was shown half a dozen times, so that even the most idiotic of them would understand where the beast needed to be stabbed.
7) Character assassination. King Hrotgar arriving in diapers. Need I to say more?
8) Twisting the original legend. All right, everyone gets the right to their own interpretation, but then, please, follow the good old fanfiction practice and put a big, honking AU label on the whole thing.
Fazit: If you want to see a really good, engaging, heart-rending Viking story, watch "The Thirteenth Warrior". Hell, even the twisted interpretation starring Christopher Lambert was five hundred per cent better than this misbegotten videogame. It certainly wasn't worth the money I've paid for it.
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-23 08:02 am (UTC)Cheers (and I'm sorry you had to suffer through it!).
(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-23 11:45 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-23 10:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-23 11:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-24 09:34 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-24 10:15 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-24 05:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-24 06:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-24 03:42 pm (UTC)And you made a great pun: the ladies-in-waiting having "go-go" eyes... the phrase is "goo-goo eyes," ("goo-goo, gah-gah" is one rendering of the sounds babies make, at least in the American English I grew up on). But I liked the image of the actresses looking at the guys and thinking, "Go, go away, you ugly sods!"
(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-24 06:06 pm (UTC)And yeah, if I were one of those actresses, I'd say exactly *that*. Should you ever find a way across the pond, we'll watch it together and laugh ourselves silly. Alone those accents are a thing of particular ugliness. As you know, I don't usually recognize accents - I'm hard-pressed to make a difference between British and American English, unless it's written. *g*
But Beowulf bellowing like a sick dog "I came to kill your monstah!" was too much, even for me. Mum didn't know what make me break down in complete hysterics...