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[personal profile] wiseheart
Take the warning seriously...

So, the Week of Hell #213578964 is almost over, and I slowly begin to feel like a human being again. Since everyone else considers me a wishmop or another similar tool (useful to do all the things they don't want or can't do but blithely ignored in any other situation), at least I need to give me that status myself, eh?

Anyway, spending so much (unpaid) hours at school after official work time can make one a little cranky. As if it weren't enough that I have seven lessons on each Monday and Thursday, with only an hour break in-between. Yeah, life sucks. While I can call myself fortunate to have a job to begin with, especially at my advanced age, it's sometimes more 'fun' that I can use.

I've enrolled a basic computer skills course at school, led by one of my colleagues, which is a useful thing, too. Of course, I already knew a lot of things we are taught there, but next week we'll finally learn to work with Excel, and that's something I've wanted to learn for a long time. A more advanced course, where they'd teach us how to make PowerPoint demonstrations and - before evething else - how to create webpages would be better, but I take what I can get, especially when 80 per cent of the fee is paid by the school. Even if it means that I spend my Monday afternoons at school, for 14 weeks. Argh.

On Tuesday, I could get home at 2 p.m, and even got some writing done. I don't really know why I still bother since nobody seems to care, but this is something I've done all my life and won't stop just because I have no readers. It's depressing, yes, but I can't make people like my stories any more than I can make them like me. The story of my entire frigging life. Perhaps I should stop writing in English entirely and return to my mother tongue. That would, at least, spare me the struggling with that stupid English grammar.

On Wednesday, I actually only had two lessons. But I had to go to school at the usual time nonetheless, because I'm on call on Wednesday morning, meaning that if someone gets sick suddenly, I have to go to the class instead of them. Sadly, we can't just put the little trolls on a shelf while we're incapacitated.

So, I started at the usual time and got home after three lessons, and then got back to school two hours later again, as I had to get one of my classes to a German theatre festival, where they were performing one of my own little plays. It was nice enough, although I'm not very happy with the results, as the kids and the co-director colleague turned something that was a romantic folkloristic piece into a silly comedy. Note to self: work alone in the future. We got to the next level nonetheless, which means that I'll have to spend March 3 (a goddamn Saturday) with this thing again, while aforementioned colleague makes a trip with her own class. Oh, joy.

Barely was the theatre festival over, I ran back to school because we had choir rehearshal. Guess what? I'm alone in the tenor voice again. Thus I've reached important status for the time being - until the next professional tumbles over the threshold. Ah, well, at least we sing beautiful pieces, although the mere thought of three concerts in April fills me with vague fear...

Today, I had the usual seven lessons, after which I was allowed to assist to the German poem and short prosa reciting championship that was taking place in our school. One of my students got to the next level, which is a nice thing, save two aspects: a) that I didn't have much to do with her performance, aside from rehearsing with her a couple of times, and b) I actually found another kid better. Ah, well, I've got to sacrifice March 3 anyway because of the theatre troup, so what...

Tomorrow, we'll have the usual biiig teachers' conference that we hold twice a year. It's comepletely useless, but it's obligatory. After that, there will be a big maths championship, also hosted by our school each year, and I "volunteered" to stay in the afternoon and oversee one of the groups. No, seriously, they have asked. I could have say no. A lot of people do. But I've this stupid loyalty thing hammered into me that if my school needs me I'm there. Sometimes I think I really am a dinosaur.

And no, the upcoming weeks won't be much better, either. I'm trying very hard not to despise everyone who isn't 60 years old yet. *g*

In any case, I've discovered that these reciting championships and fanfiction have one thing in common: no matter if you write (recite) well or badly, if you have that strange thing that attract people, you'll be popular and much admired and declared a talent. If you don't have it, well, you can still continue for your own entertainment, but don't ever expect anyone to really be interested in what you have to offer.

It's a bitter pill to swallow, but that's life. I just feel sorry for a few very talented kids who have to learn this at such a young age. At least I had the luck to keep my illusions until the day I got onto the Internet.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-02-23 06:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cirdan-havens.livejournal.com
Maybe they'll have a webpage class later. It makes sense that it would be next in line to learn.

Sorry to hear about all the ongoing crap. Really not much to say about it. *hugs*

(no subject)

Date: 2007-02-23 07:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wiseheart.livejournal.com
It's a crappy universe. What can we do?

At least overseeing the maths championship enabled me to finish the next chapter of "The Joy Machine" and almost finish another one. In two or three more parts the story is done. Nobody but Lisa would ever read it, of course, but at least I can say that I've accomplished the noble task, eh?

It's really depressing how practically all fandoms - and their sub-groups - have their very specific Big Name Fans who count and get celebrated, and most other people get ignored. alas, the chance of it changing - ever- is astronomically small.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-02-24 01:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cirdan-havens.livejournal.com
No kidding.

Yeah, publishing is about the same. -_-

(no subject)

Date: 2007-02-23 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lhun-dweller.livejournal.com
Sorry you have so much going on that is not rewarding. I think your loyalty to the school and to the students is admirable. Part of being an adult, IMHO, is doing things we know are the right thing to do, even when it's not the most convenient moment or not something that interests us that much.

I'm not advocating martyrdom, only the idea that it's reasonable as a member of the human race to at least occasionally make some effort on behalf of other people, regardless of whether or not one benefits directly. People think nothing of spending a lot of time and effort to be horribly rude to folks they've never met (in fanficdom, for example), yet they can't make the effort to help a kid at school or a stranger on the street. What a waste!

I am DELIGHTED to hear you are the only tenor. Rest assured, I shall do my Evil Tyrant(tm) best to make sure no one gets in the way of you performing EVERY tenor solo in the April concerts. (Pay no attention to reports of female tenors all over Hungary suddenly being struck with laryngitis... heh heh heh...)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-02-23 09:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wiseheart.livejournal.com
No tenor solo this time, I'm afraid. But I appreciate the sentiment nonetheless. *g*
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