Where to find some fun on TV

[wiseheart]

To tell the truth, I could never find so-called comedies really funny. Maybe it's my peculiar sense of humour, but I always found them - especially the American ones, forgive me - forced and idiotic and above all else annoying. Even boring. Hey, I'm the one who could be bored out of her skull by Goldie Hawn or annoyed to hell by Jim Carey. The oh-so-funny soap comedies with inserted laughter can cause homicidal amok runs by me.

So, I had to find something else to amuse me. And I found it in the most unexpected place. Do you know what's funny beyond belief? The so-called erotic movies on TV. Now, I'm not an anatomy major, but those positions they show us and want us to believe that there could actually be matching body parts to found for the supposed purpose of the scene... Oh, my! Small wonder the poor "actors" (and I'm using the word in the widest possible sense) are always groaning in pain.

Especially the men. If you see their faces, it's clear they are hurting themselves. It's understandable, actually. If their significant body parts are where they're anatomically supposed to be, they have to hurt themselves by the gymnastics shown onscreen. It's said to be a... erm... sensitive part of male anatomy, now how could it not hurt when it's trapped by a very bony female backside (as the only curves allowed in these trash movies are of the artificial sort, i.e.: silicone)?

Speaking of silicone... It's even more hilarious when the horny - and supposedly irresistible - heroine is in the "throes of passion", and those unnatural attachments are jingling in a totally different direction than normal body parts should be. Missionary position is particularly funny in this aspect - the things seem to have a life on their own, and the male partner has to be waaaay to careful when touching them, or they would most likely burst.

But the most ridiculous sight is the Hitler-style moustache the female participants like to wear on lower, more private parts of their body. No, really, it does look as if someone had stolen Hitler's moustache and glued on them - just after having it rotated 90°.

Oh, and by the way, it's not very flattering for the supposed stud characters that the women always have to suck their own fingers in order to have some fun. 'Cuz I can't see any other reason, aside from utter boredom...

And people say there's no fun to be found on television?

Erm... should I lock this entry? I post worse things as fiction, but this is REAL LIFE - or what television tries to sell us as real life anyway. *g*

Comments

[altariel.livejournal.com]

:-D You made me laugh out loud.

Humph, we don't get free-to-air pornography, or maybe I just haven't been looking hard enough.

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Good, good, everyone is entitled to a heartfelt laughter at least once a day.

It isn't outright porn, actually. You never really see them doing the nasty (thank God), just them being nekkid and slapping against each other in the most unlikely ways.

But these pieces nowaday can't even come close to the good old German made "yodel pr0n" of the 1980s. One in particular, where the stable hand worked on the farmer's wife, and all the cow watched them, drooling melancholically. I think I can't live long enough to forget that picture, with the guy wearing traditional "lederhosen", and the woman's tits jumping in and out of her "dirndl's" cleavage. *g*

[altariel.livejournal.com]

the stable hand worked on the farmer's wife, and all the cow watched them, drooling melancholically

So, my second belly laugh of the day!

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Well, it was a beautiful sight! Twenty-something years ago, and I still have it before my inner eyes. ;))

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

Oh, there's plenty of fun to be found on television. Just not the fun the producers intended. ;-)

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Especially not there!

[jilba.livejournal.com]

I will never ever watch such shows again without laughing...but you're right. It just isn't possible some of the things they do!

Funniest thing I ever saw was on very late night TV when I was 12, back in the 70's. Nudist tennis, mixed doubles. Yep, they had on the sweat bands on heads and wrists, lovely socks and tennis shoes, and naught else. The boobs and male genitals were going in all directions as the players ran about the court! I think the men were in extreme pain then, too!

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

And not just the men, methinks. There's a reason why sports bras exist. I'm not the busty type - well, I am cubby, but that's different - but I always needed to wear a good bra when doing sport. It hurts when you're jumping up and down and there's nothing to help your female charms firmly in place.

Quite recently, I read a snark on GAFF about a truly godawful LOTR/HP crossover, where all the Harry Potter characters were strippers. Aside from the worst spelling of my life, there were repeated scenes in which Gandalf(!) slapped people who angered him with his... erm... staff. Not with the one he canonically uses to illuminate the darkness of Moria, needless to say.

Re-posted because of the stupid coding error...