Special Unit 3 - Part 5 of 9
Aug. 10th, 2009 09:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wiseheartTitle: SPECIAL UNIT 3
Author: Soledad
Fandom: Torchwood/Special Unit 2 x-over, with a guest appearance of the Tenth Doctor.
Category: Heavy-duty Gwen bashing and a great deal of silliness.
Rating: G, suitable for all, with the exception of die-hard Gwackers.
Genre: Crackfic, with gender bending, body swap, whatever – the whole nine miles.
Series: none
Timeframe: indefinite. Perhaps “Sleepers”, from Series 2 for Torchwood, but not necessarily.
Summary: Once again, Gwen fumbles around with something she was told not to touch. The consequences are…unusual.
Disclaimer: the usual: don’t own, don’t sue! Everything belongs to RTD and BBC - and UPN, respectively.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
PART FIVE: HIGHER POWERS
Author’s notes:
You didn’t really think I’d leave Martha out of this, did you? Yes, I know she isn’t supposed to appear in Torchwood before “Reset”, but I love her and wanted her here.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“So,” Ianto said slowly. “If we are Special Unit 2 now, does it matter that they’re running around in our shape in Chicago?”
That possibility shocked everyone quite a bit.
“Well,” Jack finally said, “we’ll need to use our contacts to get more information about them – assuming, of course, that they’re real people, not just the characters of some silly online computer game. Let’s put Gwen into one of the cells first, just in case. Andy, you better call in sick; it would be hard to explain why you look so much better than you used to. Tosh, Owen, go home and get some rest.”
“What about me?” Ianto asked.
“I need you here,” Jack replied. “You can deal with UNIT bureaucrats a lot better than I. Besides, I’ve got a story to tell you. No, not that one – that needs more time and a different mindset to tell. But I think you’ll be interested anyway.”
“All right,” Ianto said, “But I warn you, I won’t stay all night. A girl needs her beauty sleep, and who knows, perhaps I’ll change my mind one day and return to being a model, after all.”
The others laughed, despite the situation, while Jack tried very hard not to imagine a scantily-clad female Ianto posing for Playboy – and failed. Ianto must have guessed what he was thinking because gave him a sultry look that could have melted the polar caps and swayed over to the autopsy room to get a gurney.
With Andy’s help, they hauled Gwen the Gnome onto it and used the internal lift to get her down to the cells. Having her shut away safely, Ianto went to check on Janet, their resident Weevil – and froze in front of her cell.
“Jack,” he said urgently. “I think you need to see this.”
Alerted by his tone, the others gathered around him and stared into the cell. Instead of the Weevil, a nine-foot-tall, horned and winged creature was squatted in the middle of the place it filled almost completely. It had a bat-like face and huge fangs. Yet it seemed surprisingly peaceful. In fact, it didn’t move at all… as if it had been made of stone. Or hibernating.
“A Gargoyle!” Owen whistled. “I thought they weren’t considered as really existing creatures. Not outside the White Wolfe games, that is.”
“I thought gnomes didn’t exist, either,” Andy pointed out, looking from the Gargoyle to Gwen’s still unconscious form in the next cell. “She’s too bloody heavy to be a mere hallucination, though.”
“Hey, does this mean all Weevils across Cardiff are petrified now?” Owen asked. “Cos that would make our jobs a lot easier… until they wake up and are still nine-feet-tall, clawed and winged monsters, of course.”
“Let’s not jump to conclusions,” Jack said. “Go home now and let me call in a few favours. Get some answers. But be here on time in the morning. We’re gonna have a lot of research to do.”
“Can I come, too?” Andy asked hopefully. Jack shrugged.
“Sure. You need to be changed back, just like the rest of us. And perhaps it will prove useful if you learn something about the work we do… should you ever decide to join the club.”
“Let’s talk about that later, when I’m done with being freaked out completely,” Andy offered his arm to Owen gallantly. “Shall I take you home, Miss Harper?”
“I don’t need your help, you bloody walking hormone!” Owen growled, and Tosh and Ianto exchanged identical grins.
“Takes one to know one,” Ianto commented dryly.
Tosh nodded. “Isn’t it just lovely when the tables are turned?” she asked sweetly.
“Actually,” Jack interrupted, before Owen could have exploded into Ianto’s face, although that would have been a spectacular catfight between the two gorgeous blondes, “I’d find it better if Andy took you home, Owen. You’re a girl now, and still not used to this new body. Be reasonable and let him go with you.”
Owen shot him a look that could have taken Myfanwy off the sky.
“I’ll make you pay for that, Harkness!” he promised.
“I’m quaking in my boots,” Jack replied blandly.
“You’re not wearing boots,” Ianto pointed out reasonably, and Tosh giggled, which sounded really weird, considering her current shape and voice.
“Semantics,” Jack replied. “All right, gang, out with you! We’ll see us again in the morning.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“So,” Ianto said when all the others had left. “Care to tell me what this is all about? Cos I’ve never dealt with UNIT for you, and you know that. They wouldn’t be willing to talk to anyone below command level. And even if they did, they’d never believe that a woman calling them would be actually me.”
Jack nodded. “True. But I need your help with opening Suzie’s drawer and checking if se… well, if she’s still her properly dead self. You know all the security codes by heart, I assume, and I’m just too tired to look them up in all those hidden files.”
“Very well,” Ianto said after some consideration. “As much as I do not wish to open that particular can of worms again, I reckon we ought to make sure she’s still there. Who knows what the artefact has done to her.”
“My thoughts exactly,” Jack replied grimly.
The fastest way to get down to the Archives was the spiral staircase – and then to follow Ianto who knew them better than anyone else. Jack might be living in the Hub – and had been affiliated to the Cardiff branch for a very long time – but he only got down there when he absolutely had to. It wasn’t a very cheerful environment, and he sometimes wondered how Ianto could bear to spend the major part of his time in these bleak corridors. Especially considering the fact that Lisa was still there, lying dead and frozen in one of the cryogenic units as well.
Yeah, Ianto more than deserved to have that canned dog’s skull to cheer him up during work.
“All right,” Ianto took a deep breath and stopped in front of Suzie’s resting place. “Here we are. You armed? Just in case.”
“Yeah,” Jack pulled out his Webley… which, he realised, wasn’t a Webley anymore, but a police issue sidearm. Well, at least it was loaded. “Go on!”
Ianto typed in the codes and removed the extra security locks. Then he pulled out the tray that was supposed to contain Suzie’s repeatedly dead body. He took another deep breath and opened the body bag.
“Here she is,” he said. “Still dead… but not Suzie anymore, I’m afraid.”
Jack stepped closer and stared down at the corpse in the body bag. It bore the multiple gunshot wounds that had finally killed Suzie for good – wounds caused by bullets of his weapon – but it was the dead body of a thin-faced young man with messy brown hair.
Jack released a breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding.
“Well,” he said, “at least she’s still here. Let’s put her back and seal the drawer again.”
“You know, of course, that we’ll have to do this again if – when – we manage to reverse the effect,” Ianto commented while helping his boss to do just that. “We’ll have to make sure she’s turned back.”
“That’s what I so love in Torchwood,” Jack replied sarcastically. “You even have to check on the dead regularly. Speaking of which…” he trailed off hesitantly, not really knowing how to break this to Ianto. But Ianto understood what he meant.
“We need to take a look at Lisa, too,” he said tonelessly.
“Yeah, she wasn’t exactly part of the team, but…” Jack hesitated again.
“But the device probably didn’t know that,” Ianto finished the thought. “It’s all right, sir. I understand.”
“Can you bear to see her again?” Jack asked. “I can do it alone, you know.”
Ianto shook his head firmly. “No, sir, that would be too dangerous. She… she could be anything – or anyone – right now. We have to do it. Just cover my back, will you?”
Jack nodded. “Always. You’ll need those special security codes, though, that I put on her drawer when…”
“I know them,” Ianto interrupted with a sad little smile. “Jack, it’s been a year! If I still hadn’t figured them out, you should fire me!”
Jack felt an unexpected chill creeping down his spine as he realised that – in theory anyway – Ianto could have gotten his cyber-girlfriend out of cold storage and whisked away any time he wanted. Apparently, he’d understood what a bad idea that would be, but the mere possibility was enough to give Jack nightmares – in the rare times when he slept, that is.
He really should have learned by now not to underestimate Ianto. Never again.
“All right,” he said, “let’s get over with this as fast as we can.”
They repeated the routine moves with Lisa’s storage unit and pulled out the tray. Jack moved to open the body bag, wanting to spare Ianto the nightmarish sight of the dismembered Cyberwoman, but Ianto didn’t let him.
“Please, Jack… I need to do this myself.”
Slowly, carefully, he opened the body bag – and broke down in tears at once. There was no dismembered Cyberwoman in that bag. It was the human Lisa, undamaged and beautiful like the day before the Battle of Canary Wharf – but also very much dead. With the monster Lisa had become, he could have dealt. Had been prepared to. Seeing his beautiful girl again, as she had once been, yet still dead, was simply too much.
Jack slammed the tray back into the drawer and re-sealed the door in a great hurry. Then he took the devastated Ianto in his arm and simply let him cry. What else could he have done? He’d never met the real Lisa in the flesh, but seeing her like this had made her a person for him, not just a threat that had to be neutralized. A person whom Ianto had loved so much he’d have sacrificed everything to get her back.
He wondered briefly if what Ianto might feel for him would evercome close to that kind of devotion.
As if answering his question, Ianto finally calmed down and sniffed affectionately into his neck. “You still smell like… like yourself, you know,” he said, winding himself out of Jack’s arms. “Bloody fifty-first-century pheromones!”
“And yet you refuse to have sex with me,” Jack replied with mock sadness. “Am I really so awful as Captain Page?”
Ianto smiled at him through his tears; he was truly heartbreaking as a damsel in distress. “It’s not that, Jack. Please give me some credit. It just… it just doesn’t feel right, you know? These bodies don’t belong to us, we… we shouldn’t use them that way.”
“If our counterparts now have our bodies, they might not be so considerate,” Jack said with a lewd grin. “Considering what an improvement it would be for them… well, save that poor gnome, perhaps.”
Ianto swatted him, laughing… albeit with just a hint of hysteria in his laughter. “You are really evil!” Then he paused for a moment and added carefully. “Do you think we should check on Dr. Tanizaki, too? I’ve never been so grateful in my life that we had at least that poor Annie incarcerated. She deserved a proper burial.”
Jack kissed him on the forehead. “Owen and I can do it tomorrow. Even if he’s been changed, he’ll still be dead.”
“Are you sure about that?” Ianto seemed a bit doubtful. Jack shrugged.
“All the evidence points in that direction. Let’s go back up and call UNIT from my office.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Ianto followed him obediently, making a detour to the coffee machine. After that sight, he needed some reinforcements, in the form of caffeine – the best kind there was. When he finally arrived to Jack’s office, with two steaming mugs of the best coffee he was able to produce – and that was a very high level of caffeine magic indeed – he found his boss standing in the office door, arms crossed, staring down into the main Hub area in genuine amusement.
“What is it?” Ianto followed his look.
At first, he couldn’t see anything out of order. The usual mess on Owen’s workstation. The usual neat order on Tosh’ desk. The usual lack of any sign of actual work at Gwen’s. The usual half-emptied pizza boxes lying everywhere, as he hadn’t had the time to clean up after his colleagues yet. Sometimes he wondered how long it would take them to completely drown in rubbish without him.
Then he suddenly spotted it: a tentacled green creature, slowly making its way through the garbage and gobbling it up with obvious delight.
“And I thought this day couldn’t get any weirder,” he commented. “What is this… this thing and where has it come from?”
“My guess would be Myfanwy,” Jack replied. “After all, it’s helping you with your job; and you’ve always been Myfanwy’s favourite pet. Even if you might believe it’s the other way round.”
“Adopted by a pterodactyl,” Ianto mused. “Only in Torchwood…”
For a while, they watched the tentacled monster deal with the garbage by simply eating it (and wasn’t that the coolest method of recycling, ever?) then they returned to Jack’s office to enjoy the coffee and finally make that call to UNIT.
Ianto listened curiously to Jack talking to someone called Martha Jones. They sounded awfully familiar with each other but not in the usual flirtatious manner Jack handled people of both genders as a rule. He even asked this Martha persona bout her family… and seemed to know various members of said family quite well. And he was very open with her about the recent events.
“I didn’t know whom to ask without giving away what’s happened to us,” he explained. “But since UNIT does have connections with the law enforcement in the States… no, you don’t have to come here, our doctor can deal with it so far… well, okay, if you insist… don’t be ridiculous, I’ll be happy to see you again… but I’ll need that info first, Martha, it’s important! Okay, thanks,” and he hung up.
“Well, he turned to Ianto, “it seems UNIT might help us with finding out more about this Special Unit 2.”
“But not with the device itself?”
“Nah; they sent it to us cos they had no clue what it was and how it worked. They never told me where it came from. I’ll run a search later.”
“The how should be clear by now,” Ianto said. “Still having difficulties with the why, though. And with the how to undo it part. By the way, who is this Martha Jones person? You never mentioned her before.”
“That’s the story I wanted to tell you. Sit.” Ianto sat, sipped his coffee and looked at Jack expectantly. “You remember the time I went away with the Doctor, do you?”
Ianto gave him his patented look of exasperation. “Are you kidding? You haven’t told me much, but what you told me was enough to give me nightmares. You know I can’t take it well if you die, no matter how often I have to see it.”
“Martha was the one who escaped from the Valiant,” Jack explained. “The one who organized the resistance on Earth… who saved us all – and the Doctor. She, me and her family are now the only ones on this planet who can still remember the Year That Never Was. I trust her unconditionally.”
“And she works for UNIT now?” Ianto asked, trying to suppress his jealousy about that last declaration.
Jack nodded. “She’s a doctor; a really good one, an expert on alien lifeforms… small wonder, eh? But she also has connections. She’s promised to find out everything about this Special Unit 2 by tomorrow. And if anyone can manage that, it’s her.”
“So pretty, eh?” Ianto smiled. Jack shook his head.
“Pretty, yeah… but we never had anything with each other. She was… otherwise interested. And as I’ve come to realize, so was I.”
“Yeah, flattery will get you nowhere,” Ianto replied, still smiling. It was nice to hear it, though. “So, Jack I’m going home now, in case you don’t need me here anymore.”
“Always… but not at the moment,” Jack replied. “Go home and rest; it’s been a long, hard day for us all. Martha will hopefully have an answer for us tomorrow.”
“What about you?” Ianto asked. “Shouldn’t you rest, too?”
“I will, eventually,” Jack answered. “Right now, I’ve got some thinking to do.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
As usual, Ianto was the first to arrive in the Hub in the next morning. He’d managed to find sensible, flat shoes in a supermarket on his was home that was open twenty-four hours a day, as well as a pair of simple jeans, and was now feeling a little more himself again.
Jack, of course, was a little disappointed by the lack of the high heels and the miniskirt. He said so.
“Keep your mind off the gutter, or I’ll put you on decaf,” Ianto warned as he wandered to the coffee machine to revitalise his boss who clearly hadn’t slept a minute last night. “Has Martha called?”
Jack nodded. “Just five minutes ago. Apparently, Special Unit 2 really does exist. They’re indeed based in Chicago and have the appointed task to hunt down creatures they call the Links – lifeforms that have supposedly developed parallel to mankind, just kept a low profile – and they are still very much themselves.”
“Are you sure about that part?” Ianto asked doubtfully. Jack grinned.
“Oh yeah. Martha spoke to the original Alice Cramer personally. She says they hit off at once. She also spotted Captain Page and the blonde officer in the background who’s now Owen, what was her name again?”
“Detective Kate Benson,” Ianto supplied, and Jack nodded.
“Yep, that one. At least three of the real team are accounted for, and we have no reason to believe that the rest isn’t.”
“I see,” Ianto thought about it for a moment. “That changes the layout of things quite a bit, doesn’t it?”
“You mean we can have sex, after all?” Jack asked hopefully.
“Spare us the trauma of having watch you getting at it,” Owen, once again wearing his own clothes, walked in. Unlike Ianto, he’d changed little enough in stature to be able to do so. “Have you learned anything yet?”
“Not much,” Jack admitted. “Special Unit 2 does indeed exist, but the changes were one-sided.”
“Well, that’s good,” Owen said. “I’d hate to imagine what some blonde chick would do with my body in Chicago. But does it help us in any way?”
“Afraid not,” Jack sighed. “I hope, though, that the visitor who’s due to arrive somewhen during the day might be able to.”
Owen glanced at the CCTV monitor. “Do you mean the weird bloke in the kilt who’s just about to use the invisible lift as if he knew it’s there?” he asked.
Jack followed his look and groaned in despair.
“Oh, no! Tell me that I’m hallucinating!”
Part 06 - A Strange Little Man
Author: Soledad
Fandom: Torchwood/Special Unit 2 x-over, with a guest appearance of the Tenth Doctor.
Category: Heavy-duty Gwen bashing and a great deal of silliness.
Rating: G, suitable for all, with the exception of die-hard Gwackers.
Genre: Crackfic, with gender bending, body swap, whatever – the whole nine miles.
Series: none
Timeframe: indefinite. Perhaps “Sleepers”, from Series 2 for Torchwood, but not necessarily.
Summary: Once again, Gwen fumbles around with something she was told not to touch. The consequences are…unusual.
Disclaimer: the usual: don’t own, don’t sue! Everything belongs to RTD and BBC - and UPN, respectively.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
PART FIVE: HIGHER POWERS
Author’s notes:
You didn’t really think I’d leave Martha out of this, did you? Yes, I know she isn’t supposed to appear in Torchwood before “Reset”, but I love her and wanted her here.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“So,” Ianto said slowly. “If we are Special Unit 2 now, does it matter that they’re running around in our shape in Chicago?”
That possibility shocked everyone quite a bit.
“Well,” Jack finally said, “we’ll need to use our contacts to get more information about them – assuming, of course, that they’re real people, not just the characters of some silly online computer game. Let’s put Gwen into one of the cells first, just in case. Andy, you better call in sick; it would be hard to explain why you look so much better than you used to. Tosh, Owen, go home and get some rest.”
“What about me?” Ianto asked.
“I need you here,” Jack replied. “You can deal with UNIT bureaucrats a lot better than I. Besides, I’ve got a story to tell you. No, not that one – that needs more time and a different mindset to tell. But I think you’ll be interested anyway.”
“All right,” Ianto said, “But I warn you, I won’t stay all night. A girl needs her beauty sleep, and who knows, perhaps I’ll change my mind one day and return to being a model, after all.”
The others laughed, despite the situation, while Jack tried very hard not to imagine a scantily-clad female Ianto posing for Playboy – and failed. Ianto must have guessed what he was thinking because gave him a sultry look that could have melted the polar caps and swayed over to the autopsy room to get a gurney.
With Andy’s help, they hauled Gwen the Gnome onto it and used the internal lift to get her down to the cells. Having her shut away safely, Ianto went to check on Janet, their resident Weevil – and froze in front of her cell.
“Jack,” he said urgently. “I think you need to see this.”
Alerted by his tone, the others gathered around him and stared into the cell. Instead of the Weevil, a nine-foot-tall, horned and winged creature was squatted in the middle of the place it filled almost completely. It had a bat-like face and huge fangs. Yet it seemed surprisingly peaceful. In fact, it didn’t move at all… as if it had been made of stone. Or hibernating.
“A Gargoyle!” Owen whistled. “I thought they weren’t considered as really existing creatures. Not outside the White Wolfe games, that is.”
“I thought gnomes didn’t exist, either,” Andy pointed out, looking from the Gargoyle to Gwen’s still unconscious form in the next cell. “She’s too bloody heavy to be a mere hallucination, though.”
“Hey, does this mean all Weevils across Cardiff are petrified now?” Owen asked. “Cos that would make our jobs a lot easier… until they wake up and are still nine-feet-tall, clawed and winged monsters, of course.”
“Let’s not jump to conclusions,” Jack said. “Go home now and let me call in a few favours. Get some answers. But be here on time in the morning. We’re gonna have a lot of research to do.”
“Can I come, too?” Andy asked hopefully. Jack shrugged.
“Sure. You need to be changed back, just like the rest of us. And perhaps it will prove useful if you learn something about the work we do… should you ever decide to join the club.”
“Let’s talk about that later, when I’m done with being freaked out completely,” Andy offered his arm to Owen gallantly. “Shall I take you home, Miss Harper?”
“I don’t need your help, you bloody walking hormone!” Owen growled, and Tosh and Ianto exchanged identical grins.
“Takes one to know one,” Ianto commented dryly.
Tosh nodded. “Isn’t it just lovely when the tables are turned?” she asked sweetly.
“Actually,” Jack interrupted, before Owen could have exploded into Ianto’s face, although that would have been a spectacular catfight between the two gorgeous blondes, “I’d find it better if Andy took you home, Owen. You’re a girl now, and still not used to this new body. Be reasonable and let him go with you.”
Owen shot him a look that could have taken Myfanwy off the sky.
“I’ll make you pay for that, Harkness!” he promised.
“I’m quaking in my boots,” Jack replied blandly.
“You’re not wearing boots,” Ianto pointed out reasonably, and Tosh giggled, which sounded really weird, considering her current shape and voice.
“Semantics,” Jack replied. “All right, gang, out with you! We’ll see us again in the morning.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“So,” Ianto said when all the others had left. “Care to tell me what this is all about? Cos I’ve never dealt with UNIT for you, and you know that. They wouldn’t be willing to talk to anyone below command level. And even if they did, they’d never believe that a woman calling them would be actually me.”
Jack nodded. “True. But I need your help with opening Suzie’s drawer and checking if se… well, if she’s still her properly dead self. You know all the security codes by heart, I assume, and I’m just too tired to look them up in all those hidden files.”
“Very well,” Ianto said after some consideration. “As much as I do not wish to open that particular can of worms again, I reckon we ought to make sure she’s still there. Who knows what the artefact has done to her.”
“My thoughts exactly,” Jack replied grimly.
The fastest way to get down to the Archives was the spiral staircase – and then to follow Ianto who knew them better than anyone else. Jack might be living in the Hub – and had been affiliated to the Cardiff branch for a very long time – but he only got down there when he absolutely had to. It wasn’t a very cheerful environment, and he sometimes wondered how Ianto could bear to spend the major part of his time in these bleak corridors. Especially considering the fact that Lisa was still there, lying dead and frozen in one of the cryogenic units as well.
Yeah, Ianto more than deserved to have that canned dog’s skull to cheer him up during work.
“All right,” Ianto took a deep breath and stopped in front of Suzie’s resting place. “Here we are. You armed? Just in case.”
“Yeah,” Jack pulled out his Webley… which, he realised, wasn’t a Webley anymore, but a police issue sidearm. Well, at least it was loaded. “Go on!”
Ianto typed in the codes and removed the extra security locks. Then he pulled out the tray that was supposed to contain Suzie’s repeatedly dead body. He took another deep breath and opened the body bag.
“Here she is,” he said. “Still dead… but not Suzie anymore, I’m afraid.”
Jack stepped closer and stared down at the corpse in the body bag. It bore the multiple gunshot wounds that had finally killed Suzie for good – wounds caused by bullets of his weapon – but it was the dead body of a thin-faced young man with messy brown hair.
Jack released a breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding.
“Well,” he said, “at least she’s still here. Let’s put her back and seal the drawer again.”
“You know, of course, that we’ll have to do this again if – when – we manage to reverse the effect,” Ianto commented while helping his boss to do just that. “We’ll have to make sure she’s turned back.”
“That’s what I so love in Torchwood,” Jack replied sarcastically. “You even have to check on the dead regularly. Speaking of which…” he trailed off hesitantly, not really knowing how to break this to Ianto. But Ianto understood what he meant.
“We need to take a look at Lisa, too,” he said tonelessly.
“Yeah, she wasn’t exactly part of the team, but…” Jack hesitated again.
“But the device probably didn’t know that,” Ianto finished the thought. “It’s all right, sir. I understand.”
“Can you bear to see her again?” Jack asked. “I can do it alone, you know.”
Ianto shook his head firmly. “No, sir, that would be too dangerous. She… she could be anything – or anyone – right now. We have to do it. Just cover my back, will you?”
Jack nodded. “Always. You’ll need those special security codes, though, that I put on her drawer when…”
“I know them,” Ianto interrupted with a sad little smile. “Jack, it’s been a year! If I still hadn’t figured them out, you should fire me!”
Jack felt an unexpected chill creeping down his spine as he realised that – in theory anyway – Ianto could have gotten his cyber-girlfriend out of cold storage and whisked away any time he wanted. Apparently, he’d understood what a bad idea that would be, but the mere possibility was enough to give Jack nightmares – in the rare times when he slept, that is.
He really should have learned by now not to underestimate Ianto. Never again.
“All right,” he said, “let’s get over with this as fast as we can.”
They repeated the routine moves with Lisa’s storage unit and pulled out the tray. Jack moved to open the body bag, wanting to spare Ianto the nightmarish sight of the dismembered Cyberwoman, but Ianto didn’t let him.
“Please, Jack… I need to do this myself.”
Slowly, carefully, he opened the body bag – and broke down in tears at once. There was no dismembered Cyberwoman in that bag. It was the human Lisa, undamaged and beautiful like the day before the Battle of Canary Wharf – but also very much dead. With the monster Lisa had become, he could have dealt. Had been prepared to. Seeing his beautiful girl again, as she had once been, yet still dead, was simply too much.
Jack slammed the tray back into the drawer and re-sealed the door in a great hurry. Then he took the devastated Ianto in his arm and simply let him cry. What else could he have done? He’d never met the real Lisa in the flesh, but seeing her like this had made her a person for him, not just a threat that had to be neutralized. A person whom Ianto had loved so much he’d have sacrificed everything to get her back.
He wondered briefly if what Ianto might feel for him would evercome close to that kind of devotion.
As if answering his question, Ianto finally calmed down and sniffed affectionately into his neck. “You still smell like… like yourself, you know,” he said, winding himself out of Jack’s arms. “Bloody fifty-first-century pheromones!”
“And yet you refuse to have sex with me,” Jack replied with mock sadness. “Am I really so awful as Captain Page?”
Ianto smiled at him through his tears; he was truly heartbreaking as a damsel in distress. “It’s not that, Jack. Please give me some credit. It just… it just doesn’t feel right, you know? These bodies don’t belong to us, we… we shouldn’t use them that way.”
“If our counterparts now have our bodies, they might not be so considerate,” Jack said with a lewd grin. “Considering what an improvement it would be for them… well, save that poor gnome, perhaps.”
Ianto swatted him, laughing… albeit with just a hint of hysteria in his laughter. “You are really evil!” Then he paused for a moment and added carefully. “Do you think we should check on Dr. Tanizaki, too? I’ve never been so grateful in my life that we had at least that poor Annie incarcerated. She deserved a proper burial.”
Jack kissed him on the forehead. “Owen and I can do it tomorrow. Even if he’s been changed, he’ll still be dead.”
“Are you sure about that?” Ianto seemed a bit doubtful. Jack shrugged.
“All the evidence points in that direction. Let’s go back up and call UNIT from my office.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Ianto followed him obediently, making a detour to the coffee machine. After that sight, he needed some reinforcements, in the form of caffeine – the best kind there was. When he finally arrived to Jack’s office, with two steaming mugs of the best coffee he was able to produce – and that was a very high level of caffeine magic indeed – he found his boss standing in the office door, arms crossed, staring down into the main Hub area in genuine amusement.
“What is it?” Ianto followed his look.
At first, he couldn’t see anything out of order. The usual mess on Owen’s workstation. The usual neat order on Tosh’ desk. The usual lack of any sign of actual work at Gwen’s. The usual half-emptied pizza boxes lying everywhere, as he hadn’t had the time to clean up after his colleagues yet. Sometimes he wondered how long it would take them to completely drown in rubbish without him.
Then he suddenly spotted it: a tentacled green creature, slowly making its way through the garbage and gobbling it up with obvious delight.
“And I thought this day couldn’t get any weirder,” he commented. “What is this… this thing and where has it come from?”
“My guess would be Myfanwy,” Jack replied. “After all, it’s helping you with your job; and you’ve always been Myfanwy’s favourite pet. Even if you might believe it’s the other way round.”
“Adopted by a pterodactyl,” Ianto mused. “Only in Torchwood…”
For a while, they watched the tentacled monster deal with the garbage by simply eating it (and wasn’t that the coolest method of recycling, ever?) then they returned to Jack’s office to enjoy the coffee and finally make that call to UNIT.
Ianto listened curiously to Jack talking to someone called Martha Jones. They sounded awfully familiar with each other but not in the usual flirtatious manner Jack handled people of both genders as a rule. He even asked this Martha persona bout her family… and seemed to know various members of said family quite well. And he was very open with her about the recent events.
“I didn’t know whom to ask without giving away what’s happened to us,” he explained. “But since UNIT does have connections with the law enforcement in the States… no, you don’t have to come here, our doctor can deal with it so far… well, okay, if you insist… don’t be ridiculous, I’ll be happy to see you again… but I’ll need that info first, Martha, it’s important! Okay, thanks,” and he hung up.
“Well, he turned to Ianto, “it seems UNIT might help us with finding out more about this Special Unit 2.”
“But not with the device itself?”
“Nah; they sent it to us cos they had no clue what it was and how it worked. They never told me where it came from. I’ll run a search later.”
“The how should be clear by now,” Ianto said. “Still having difficulties with the why, though. And with the how to undo it part. By the way, who is this Martha Jones person? You never mentioned her before.”
“That’s the story I wanted to tell you. Sit.” Ianto sat, sipped his coffee and looked at Jack expectantly. “You remember the time I went away with the Doctor, do you?”
Ianto gave him his patented look of exasperation. “Are you kidding? You haven’t told me much, but what you told me was enough to give me nightmares. You know I can’t take it well if you die, no matter how often I have to see it.”
“Martha was the one who escaped from the Valiant,” Jack explained. “The one who organized the resistance on Earth… who saved us all – and the Doctor. She, me and her family are now the only ones on this planet who can still remember the Year That Never Was. I trust her unconditionally.”
“And she works for UNIT now?” Ianto asked, trying to suppress his jealousy about that last declaration.
Jack nodded. “She’s a doctor; a really good one, an expert on alien lifeforms… small wonder, eh? But she also has connections. She’s promised to find out everything about this Special Unit 2 by tomorrow. And if anyone can manage that, it’s her.”
“So pretty, eh?” Ianto smiled. Jack shook his head.
“Pretty, yeah… but we never had anything with each other. She was… otherwise interested. And as I’ve come to realize, so was I.”
“Yeah, flattery will get you nowhere,” Ianto replied, still smiling. It was nice to hear it, though. “So, Jack I’m going home now, in case you don’t need me here anymore.”
“Always… but not at the moment,” Jack replied. “Go home and rest; it’s been a long, hard day for us all. Martha will hopefully have an answer for us tomorrow.”
“What about you?” Ianto asked. “Shouldn’t you rest, too?”
“I will, eventually,” Jack answered. “Right now, I’ve got some thinking to do.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
As usual, Ianto was the first to arrive in the Hub in the next morning. He’d managed to find sensible, flat shoes in a supermarket on his was home that was open twenty-four hours a day, as well as a pair of simple jeans, and was now feeling a little more himself again.
Jack, of course, was a little disappointed by the lack of the high heels and the miniskirt. He said so.
“Keep your mind off the gutter, or I’ll put you on decaf,” Ianto warned as he wandered to the coffee machine to revitalise his boss who clearly hadn’t slept a minute last night. “Has Martha called?”
Jack nodded. “Just five minutes ago. Apparently, Special Unit 2 really does exist. They’re indeed based in Chicago and have the appointed task to hunt down creatures they call the Links – lifeforms that have supposedly developed parallel to mankind, just kept a low profile – and they are still very much themselves.”
“Are you sure about that part?” Ianto asked doubtfully. Jack grinned.
“Oh yeah. Martha spoke to the original Alice Cramer personally. She says they hit off at once. She also spotted Captain Page and the blonde officer in the background who’s now Owen, what was her name again?”
“Detective Kate Benson,” Ianto supplied, and Jack nodded.
“Yep, that one. At least three of the real team are accounted for, and we have no reason to believe that the rest isn’t.”
“I see,” Ianto thought about it for a moment. “That changes the layout of things quite a bit, doesn’t it?”
“You mean we can have sex, after all?” Jack asked hopefully.
“Spare us the trauma of having watch you getting at it,” Owen, once again wearing his own clothes, walked in. Unlike Ianto, he’d changed little enough in stature to be able to do so. “Have you learned anything yet?”
“Not much,” Jack admitted. “Special Unit 2 does indeed exist, but the changes were one-sided.”
“Well, that’s good,” Owen said. “I’d hate to imagine what some blonde chick would do with my body in Chicago. But does it help us in any way?”
“Afraid not,” Jack sighed. “I hope, though, that the visitor who’s due to arrive somewhen during the day might be able to.”
Owen glanced at the CCTV monitor. “Do you mean the weird bloke in the kilt who’s just about to use the invisible lift as if he knew it’s there?” he asked.
Jack followed his look and groaned in despair.
“Oh, no! Tell me that I’m hallucinating!”
Part 06 - A Strange Little Man
