Memory Alpha fic challenge

This is a cross-post for those not on the Memory Alpha list.

I want to issue a challenge, honouring the group's one-year anniversary. Those not on the list are welcome to join as well.


The particulars are as follows:

Write a one-chapter humour fic, crossing the Star Trek series of your choice with another sci-fi show of your choice. No restrictions, it just has to be a sci-fi show.

The story has to contain:

- a transporter malfunction;

- the exclaiment "I hate temporal mechanics" by any character of your choice;

- a discussion about the role of a beard concerning male self-identification (Remember: aside from the obvious choices like Riker, Worf, Tyr Anasazi or Sisko, many other characters had a beard in the one or other episode or alternate universe/timeline, etc. Just to name a few: Commander Adama, Picard, Mirror Spock, Mirror Bashir [stubble counts, too], Data, Geordi LaForge, Sheridan and so on.)

- some food one of the parties finds weird;

Deadline: December 6

Those not on the Memory Alpha list can:
a) join the list - it's not an exclusive club, or
b) post their story to LJ and I'll put up a link on Memory Alpha for the people to read and praise it. *g*

I'm not sure I'll be able to participate myself. It depends on the muse. But I think it'd be great fun.