RotK EE impressions
Dec. 30th, 2004 10:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wiseheartDue to "The Faulty Tape Story", I was forced to view the EE three times, so far (although in the fast-forward version, most of it - I just can't bear Frodo/Elijah Wood's eyes roll upwards one more time). Below follows an eclectic list of my impressions. As I only saw the movie version once, and that was more than a year ago, I don't really remember which ones were the new scenes, so bear with me.
1. Saruman's death. I actually liked it. Aside from the idiotic decision of Théoden to go face the wizard without any of his men protecting him, it was well done. Saruman died canonically - from Gríma's hand - and Gríma died canonically, from an arrow. Okay, he was shot by Legolas, not by a hobbit, but since the whole Shire scene (which I, personally, had found less than convincing in The Books) was left out, I think it was okay.
Once again, Christopher Lee was a great Saruman, and since he wasn't forced to do any of that utterly idiotic Dungeons&Dragons type magic as in the first two movies (I still must gag when I think of that "my staff is bigger than yours" thing between him and Gandalf in FotR - it inspires the dirtiest thoughts in me), he was acually as close to the books as possible. Even though his fall from the tower was a bit too theatrical for my taste. And his shoes were ridiculous. Last person I saw wearing shoes like those was my 96-year-old Granny. But I digress.
2. The Corsairs of Umbar. I liked the look they were given. They looked a lot like those seamen of the Mediterran area, half fishermen, half pirates, of mixed blood (Arabic, Italian, French and whatnot). I particularly liked the scene in which PJ was shot by Legolas, hehehe. Although... is it just me, or did Orlando Bloom pick up the custom to draw his arrows in an unusually theatrical version? And that expression on his face every time... as if the arrows were stuck and he had to fight them to come out of his quiver...
What I didn't like in this scene was probably only a fault of bad Hungarian dubbing. When the Corsairs laugh at Aragorn & Co, it suspiciously sounds like those artificial laughters in bad sitcoms. Too bad; it ruined a scene that I actually did like just fine. The black ships seemed cool, too.
3. Shelob. I found her utterly boring. Probably due to the fact that I've seen too many "Giant Radioactive Spider Eats Whole Town"-type horror movies, I didn't find Shelob scary a bit. She was the exact opposite to the Wargs - they were too much of monsters, not even resembling true wolves. Shelob was too much of an ordinary spider - although an obscenely big one - to be even considered a Middle-earth type monster. At least for me. Sorry.
4. The scenes in Cirith Ungol. I absolutely loved them. Finally, there were Orcs who didn't look like animated, rotting corpses. And they had personality. And they were refreshingly close to The Books!
5. Aragorn & Éowyn. As much as I hate the casting, I have to admit that Viggo Mortensen and Miranda Otto had great chemistry. Even though Aragorn, as someone who is supposedly in undying love with Arwen, shouldn't be pawing another woman all the time and leading her on. Seeing these scenes, I can understand fanbrats writing long, wangsty stories about Aragorn actually loving Éowyn and only marrying Arwen out of a sense of duty.
6. Aragorn-teh-king. Oh, my gosh. I was rolling on the floor in agony. Granted, I never bought poor Viggo the Ranger for a moment, but the King! His speeches were... no, there aren't words how bad and cheesy they were.And the royal Kopfputz (sorry, don't know any good English words for that) of gleaming aluminium looked beyond stupid.
7. Éowyn-the-wallflower. She looked positively anorexic. And she looked much too old, pale and sickly for a 24-year-old woman (or was she supposed to be 21? I'm too lazy to check the Appendices) who is supposedly trained to fight like any Man of the Mark. And why the heck was everyone so surprised to see her on the Pelennor Fields? She took her helm off in front of the whole Rohirric army when resting.
8. Faramir. I still hate the casting like hell, for me, David Wenham just doesn't look right for the part, with those pudgy cheeks, fishy eyes and that bad wig, but even I must admit that he did his best with what little he was given.
9. Denethor. *sighs in defeat* So many time have I explained why I found this interpretation of the Steward as wrong, insulting and a very cheap and low way to make the audience side with Viggogorn. It's an impressive achievement to ruin a character so completely, while using mostly book lines. John Noble actually did an amazing work with this... abomination. And the scene where he saw a smiling Boromir behind Faramir's back made me cry.
10. Gandalf. I utterly loathed him in the third movie. Just as much as I liked him in the first one. Here, he handled everyone as lower lifeforms. Including Pippin. And his stunts against Denethor were utterly despisable. Especially using Shadowfax to kill him. In cold blood.
11. The beacon fires. They were a spectacular sight, but I loathed the fact that they were used to difflame Denethor's character even more. It was the Steward who had them lit in time, dammit! Denethor might have gone slightly mad, but only in the last hour of his life or so. Until then, he did everything in his might to protect his city. *Including* having the dratted fires lit.
12. Why did all the Orcs (save the ones from Cirith Ungol) look like animated, rotting corpses, or patients suffering from the final phases of cancer? Why does evil equal deformed? I found that insulting.
13. The Palantír. I was so happy to finally see it on the right place. Aside from the idiotic electrocutings its seemed to give to all its users, it was a cool piece of work.
14. Arwen. I hate movie!Arwen. Not only does she have an overbite, which ruins all illusions of beauty, the utterly idiotic C-plot about her fate being dependant of the Ring was the worst canon rape after the Elves at Helm's Deep and Théoden's exorcism. 'Nuff said. Hearing Figwit speak was cute, though.
15. Elrond. I weep for book'Elrond who was as kind as summer. I weep for Elrond, the descendant of Lúthien and Dior and Eärendil. I weep for people who met the movie before The Books and now will be stuck forever with the image of this depressive (and depressing) character who is losing his hair, who hates Men and tries to blackmail his daughter into leaving the one she loves, just so that he won't have to lose his daughter.
As much as I can understand the sentiment, that's a rare low, even for a human. Book!Elrond handled the issue much more elegantly. He gave Aragorn an ultimatum - become King, defeat Sauron and you'll get the girl. That simple. It would have worked in the movie, too - actually, it'd have worked a lot better than the angsty semi-psychological babble we got.
16. The reforging of Narsil. It might be a result of me seeing Das Nibelungenlied, with its excellent sword-forging scenes, or the German documentary about the forging of medieval swords, but I found that particular scene not very convincing. Besides, we barely got a glimpse of the yummy Elven smiths. Erm... right, back to the topic.
17. Mithlond. I actually liked that scene, although I was very disappointed by the absence of Círdan. Elrond's wooden gestures and Galadriel's creepy smile were the stuff for nightmares, but the hobbits were really nice.
So, that's for starters. If I can think of anything else, I might continue. In fact, I'm planning to write some detailed reviews to all three movies (the EEs, of course), somewhen in the next century.
1. Saruman's death. I actually liked it. Aside from the idiotic decision of Théoden to go face the wizard without any of his men protecting him, it was well done. Saruman died canonically - from Gríma's hand - and Gríma died canonically, from an arrow. Okay, he was shot by Legolas, not by a hobbit, but since the whole Shire scene (which I, personally, had found less than convincing in The Books) was left out, I think it was okay.
Once again, Christopher Lee was a great Saruman, and since he wasn't forced to do any of that utterly idiotic Dungeons&Dragons type magic as in the first two movies (I still must gag when I think of that "my staff is bigger than yours" thing between him and Gandalf in FotR - it inspires the dirtiest thoughts in me), he was acually as close to the books as possible. Even though his fall from the tower was a bit too theatrical for my taste. And his shoes were ridiculous. Last person I saw wearing shoes like those was my 96-year-old Granny. But I digress.
2. The Corsairs of Umbar. I liked the look they were given. They looked a lot like those seamen of the Mediterran area, half fishermen, half pirates, of mixed blood (Arabic, Italian, French and whatnot). I particularly liked the scene in which PJ was shot by Legolas, hehehe. Although... is it just me, or did Orlando Bloom pick up the custom to draw his arrows in an unusually theatrical version? And that expression on his face every time... as if the arrows were stuck and he had to fight them to come out of his quiver...
What I didn't like in this scene was probably only a fault of bad Hungarian dubbing. When the Corsairs laugh at Aragorn & Co, it suspiciously sounds like those artificial laughters in bad sitcoms. Too bad; it ruined a scene that I actually did like just fine. The black ships seemed cool, too.
3. Shelob. I found her utterly boring. Probably due to the fact that I've seen too many "Giant Radioactive Spider Eats Whole Town"-type horror movies, I didn't find Shelob scary a bit. She was the exact opposite to the Wargs - they were too much of monsters, not even resembling true wolves. Shelob was too much of an ordinary spider - although an obscenely big one - to be even considered a Middle-earth type monster. At least for me. Sorry.
4. The scenes in Cirith Ungol. I absolutely loved them. Finally, there were Orcs who didn't look like animated, rotting corpses. And they had personality. And they were refreshingly close to The Books!
5. Aragorn & Éowyn. As much as I hate the casting, I have to admit that Viggo Mortensen and Miranda Otto had great chemistry. Even though Aragorn, as someone who is supposedly in undying love with Arwen, shouldn't be pawing another woman all the time and leading her on. Seeing these scenes, I can understand fanbrats writing long, wangsty stories about Aragorn actually loving Éowyn and only marrying Arwen out of a sense of duty.
6. Aragorn-teh-king. Oh, my gosh. I was rolling on the floor in agony. Granted, I never bought poor Viggo the Ranger for a moment, but the King! His speeches were... no, there aren't words how bad and cheesy they were.And the royal Kopfputz (sorry, don't know any good English words for that) of gleaming aluminium looked beyond stupid.
7. Éowyn-the-wallflower. She looked positively anorexic. And she looked much too old, pale and sickly for a 24-year-old woman (or was she supposed to be 21? I'm too lazy to check the Appendices) who is supposedly trained to fight like any Man of the Mark. And why the heck was everyone so surprised to see her on the Pelennor Fields? She took her helm off in front of the whole Rohirric army when resting.
8. Faramir. I still hate the casting like hell, for me, David Wenham just doesn't look right for the part, with those pudgy cheeks, fishy eyes and that bad wig, but even I must admit that he did his best with what little he was given.
9. Denethor. *sighs in defeat* So many time have I explained why I found this interpretation of the Steward as wrong, insulting and a very cheap and low way to make the audience side with Viggogorn. It's an impressive achievement to ruin a character so completely, while using mostly book lines. John Noble actually did an amazing work with this... abomination. And the scene where he saw a smiling Boromir behind Faramir's back made me cry.
10. Gandalf. I utterly loathed him in the third movie. Just as much as I liked him in the first one. Here, he handled everyone as lower lifeforms. Including Pippin. And his stunts against Denethor were utterly despisable. Especially using Shadowfax to kill him. In cold blood.
11. The beacon fires. They were a spectacular sight, but I loathed the fact that they were used to difflame Denethor's character even more. It was the Steward who had them lit in time, dammit! Denethor might have gone slightly mad, but only in the last hour of his life or so. Until then, he did everything in his might to protect his city. *Including* having the dratted fires lit.
12. Why did all the Orcs (save the ones from Cirith Ungol) look like animated, rotting corpses, or patients suffering from the final phases of cancer? Why does evil equal deformed? I found that insulting.
13. The Palantír. I was so happy to finally see it on the right place. Aside from the idiotic electrocutings its seemed to give to all its users, it was a cool piece of work.
14. Arwen. I hate movie!Arwen. Not only does she have an overbite, which ruins all illusions of beauty, the utterly idiotic C-plot about her fate being dependant of the Ring was the worst canon rape after the Elves at Helm's Deep and Théoden's exorcism. 'Nuff said. Hearing Figwit speak was cute, though.
15. Elrond. I weep for book'Elrond who was as kind as summer. I weep for Elrond, the descendant of Lúthien and Dior and Eärendil. I weep for people who met the movie before The Books and now will be stuck forever with the image of this depressive (and depressing) character who is losing his hair, who hates Men and tries to blackmail his daughter into leaving the one she loves, just so that he won't have to lose his daughter.
As much as I can understand the sentiment, that's a rare low, even for a human. Book!Elrond handled the issue much more elegantly. He gave Aragorn an ultimatum - become King, defeat Sauron and you'll get the girl. That simple. It would have worked in the movie, too - actually, it'd have worked a lot better than the angsty semi-psychological babble we got.
16. The reforging of Narsil. It might be a result of me seeing Das Nibelungenlied, with its excellent sword-forging scenes, or the German documentary about the forging of medieval swords, but I found that particular scene not very convincing. Besides, we barely got a glimpse of the yummy Elven smiths. Erm... right, back to the topic.
17. Mithlond. I actually liked that scene, although I was very disappointed by the absence of Círdan. Elrond's wooden gestures and Galadriel's creepy smile were the stuff for nightmares, but the hobbits were really nice.
So, that's for starters. If I can think of anything else, I might continue. In fact, I'm planning to write some detailed reviews to all three movies (the EEs, of course), somewhen in the next century.
