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My kingdom for a good movie!
Well, I readily admit that I've got genre preferences regular TV-channels don't often take into consideration. Like sci-fi that actually makes *sense* - which I haven't encountered for *years*.
Behind the tag, there be lengthy and ranting review about tonight's TV entertainment.
In any case, I watched "Raging Sharks" tonight, practically because Corin Nemec, Vanessa Angel and Corbin Bernsen played the main roles. I liked Corin as Michael Shanks' replacement in Stargate's 6th season - yes, shoot me, I actually liked him, and I found Daniel's semi-godlike status a frigging stupid idea. It worked for Q in Star Trek, but Q at least had some personality, even if an annoying one.
But I digress. Vanessa Angel was icily sexy in Stargate as a Tok'Ra, and I'd watch practically everything with Corbin Bernsen in it. I just love the guy, for no particular reason. So far, so good.
The movie started in an itriguing enough way, with two alien spaceships entering our solar system. They had a short shooting match somewhere around Jupiter, and one of them was destroyed. The other one, content with the outcome, left.
And there the stupidity began. The central piece of the destroyed spaceship somehow managed to fall into Earth's ocean. My WTF-meter went off the scale in a second. Exqueeze me??? I thought they had the frigging battle in Jupiter's orbit, and how the hell did that fragment escape the gravity of a dratted gas gian, pass the asteroid belt and Mars and manage to land on the bottom of the ocean? Yet apparently, it did.
From that moment on, the movie became utterly predictable. Strange alien substance escaping ship fragment - check.
Strange alien substance making sharks grow to the size of dinosaurs and become incredibly aggressive - check. Sharks starting to eat people everywhere - check.
Underwater lab running low on cash and supplies - check.
Stupid, watery romance between male and female leads (in our case Corin Nemec and Vanessa Angel) - check.
Important female character behaving like utter bitch - check.
Fake conflict between military (Corbin Bernsen as submarine commander) and scientist (Corin Nemev) - check.
Personality-deprived crew of underwater station dying like flies - check.
Annoying government clerk turning out to be homicidal secret agent - check.
Cowardly character stealing the only means of escape (a mini-sub) and running against underwater rock with it - check.
Very annyoingly impossible escape of the two main characters (and nobody else) - check.
Folks, it was bad. It was worse than bad: it was clichéd, mediocre crap. Corin Nemec was sexy with stubble, glasses and long hair, but that's the only positive thing I could say about the movie. Vanessa Angel looked as if she'd somehow missed her Botox therapy, and she either can't act at all, or the screenplay was so badly written that she just couldn't do anything with it.
Those were two completely wasted hours. Even though I was switching back and forth between this movie and the BBC-adaptation of Agatha Christie's "A Pocket Full of Rye", half the time.
Behind the tag, there be lengthy and ranting review about tonight's TV entertainment.
In any case, I watched "Raging Sharks" tonight, practically because Corin Nemec, Vanessa Angel and Corbin Bernsen played the main roles. I liked Corin as Michael Shanks' replacement in Stargate's 6th season - yes, shoot me, I actually liked him, and I found Daniel's semi-godlike status a frigging stupid idea. It worked for Q in Star Trek, but Q at least had some personality, even if an annoying one.
But I digress. Vanessa Angel was icily sexy in Stargate as a Tok'Ra, and I'd watch practically everything with Corbin Bernsen in it. I just love the guy, for no particular reason. So far, so good.
The movie started in an itriguing enough way, with two alien spaceships entering our solar system. They had a short shooting match somewhere around Jupiter, and one of them was destroyed. The other one, content with the outcome, left.
And there the stupidity began. The central piece of the destroyed spaceship somehow managed to fall into Earth's ocean. My WTF-meter went off the scale in a second. Exqueeze me??? I thought they had the frigging battle in Jupiter's orbit, and how the hell did that fragment escape the gravity of a dratted gas gian, pass the asteroid belt and Mars and manage to land on the bottom of the ocean? Yet apparently, it did.
From that moment on, the movie became utterly predictable. Strange alien substance escaping ship fragment - check.
Strange alien substance making sharks grow to the size of dinosaurs and become incredibly aggressive - check. Sharks starting to eat people everywhere - check.
Underwater lab running low on cash and supplies - check.
Stupid, watery romance between male and female leads (in our case Corin Nemec and Vanessa Angel) - check.
Important female character behaving like utter bitch - check.
Fake conflict between military (Corbin Bernsen as submarine commander) and scientist (Corin Nemev) - check.
Personality-deprived crew of underwater station dying like flies - check.
Annoying government clerk turning out to be homicidal secret agent - check.
Cowardly character stealing the only means of escape (a mini-sub) and running against underwater rock with it - check.
Very annyoingly impossible escape of the two main characters (and nobody else) - check.
Folks, it was bad. It was worse than bad: it was clichéd, mediocre crap. Corin Nemec was sexy with stubble, glasses and long hair, but that's the only positive thing I could say about the movie. Vanessa Angel looked as if she'd somehow missed her Botox therapy, and she either can't act at all, or the screenplay was so badly written that she just couldn't do anything with it.
Those were two completely wasted hours. Even though I was switching back and forth between this movie and the BBC-adaptation of Agatha Christie's "A Pocket Full of Rye", half the time.
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Go watch some Tyr, fast-forwarding through the Kevin Sorebrain parts. You'll feel better.
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Thanks for the excellent beta work, BTW. I've just put up